Half Of My Heart
by helloPOTATO
Summary: half of my heart's got a grip on the situation. half of my heart takes time. half of my heart's got a right mind to tell you that, I can't keep loving you... with half of my heart.
1. Chapter 1 : Care For A Ride?

Here you go. The very first chapter! :] Hope you guys will like it.

Oh! and props to my shower buddy, Justine Ordeniza for letting me discover this site. :)

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><p><em>And I don't know how it gets better than this<em>

_You take my hand and drag me head-first, fearless_

_And I don't know why but with you I'd dance_

_In the storm in my best dress fearless_

_Yeah, I don't know how,_

_Oh, yeah, yeah_

"And that one was Fearless by the Taylor Swift; it's goin' out to Natalie. I hope you're enjoying your rainy Saturday..." I drifted off from what the DJ was saying.

It's been raining ever since this morning. I've been sitting beside my window, staring at nothing. How I loved the rain. I've always liked the sounds that it made on my window. Rainy days have always brought me comfort. I don't know. I've always been fond of any cold or rainy season. It makes me feel like everything's gonna be alright. Somehow, everything will be fine.

"I'll be here 'til 4 p.m. so call me up if you have any request or you just wanna talk-" the DJ was interrupted by a... tap?

"Where was it coming from?" I asked myself.

Tap. There it was again. I looked around but saw nothing and no one.

Then, I knew.

"Finally! I thought I'd have to freeze to death before you would open your window," shouted Kenneth as I hang my head outside my window. He had that big smile on his face. It made me smile too.

Wait. What was he doing here? Under the rain.

"Are you crazy? Get out of the rain! You'll catch a cold!" I shouted back with a wide smile. He didn't listen. Ha! He never does. I watched him as he played and ran under the pouring rain. His hair was slightly damp, so were his clothes.

He never looked any better. He made my heart skip a beat. Darn.

"If that's the case, then let's catch a cold together!" he insisted. He continued to run around the street like a kid. Now, he's really wet.

I bit my lips, "What are the bikes for?" I saw two under the tree across the street.

He looked at them, "Ah! You've noticed. It's uhhh," he paused, "for transportation. I'm taking you somewhere." a grin begun to spread on his face.

"Hmmmmm," I thought aloud. What's he up to now? I could never quite understand the way he thinks.

"Oh. C'mon, Lillie," he said with his head slightly tilted.

What the heck. I smiled back at him before closing the window.

I laughed softly as I changed to my slippers and grabbed my keys. That boy is makin' me crazy.

I opened the door and there he was. He was facing the other way with his head down. He got his hands in his pockets. His head seemed to be occupied.

_What is he thinking about now?_

He turned around and there he was. Smiling and looking all Prince-Charming-ish.

I grabbed an umbrella and waved it to him.

"Won't need it! C'mon, I know you love getting wet under the rain," he shouted to my suggestion. He is right though. I do love it whenever I get wet under the rain.

I reached for the raincoats when Ken interrupted, "Not even that, Lillie. Now, Come! The rain is almost over. You will ruin the whole thing!"

_Oh, Ken, if only you knew…_

I ran towards him, "You do know that my parents will ground me, right? Or do you really intend for that to happen?"

He pulled my head and kissed my forehead, like the prince charming that he is. I wish it would be as easy as this.

He looked at my eyes like he could see through me, "You know that they won't ground you as long as you're with me."

His face had his smug smile. But he was right. I don't know why, but my parents trust him. A lot. He takes care of me. I'm an only child and Kenneth's two years older than me, so I guess that means as long as Ken's around, they get a free babysitter, not that I needed one.

"Where are we going, anyway?" I asked. Please don't say "It's a surprise", I thought. I've heard that phrase too many times from him.

He handed me the other bike with a smile, "It's a surprise." darn. This is one of the things that I do know about him. He loves surprising. Not being surprised, just the one surprising.

He took off and rode ahead of me.

"Of course", I said, following him.

He smiled at me, "I thought you liked surprises." his left eyebrow was raised. He must have heard me.

"I did", I paused," then, I met you." I teased him with a smile.

He stopped. "Really?" he asked me. _Silly guy._

I laughed softly and rolled my eyes, "Of course not. Why you gotta be so sensitive?"

"You little brat. Catch me if you can!" he shouted as he rode off ahead of me, way ahead of me.

I stepped on the wet pedal and drove the bike as fast as I could. In me defense, Ken is a very sporty guy and I'm…

Nevermind.

"Now, why is this place familiar?" I whispered to myself.

You know that strange feeling where you think you've been to a place but can't seem to remember? Yeah, well, I feel that right now.

They say that you usually feel that way when that place is incorporated with an important memory, like your first kiss or whatever.

I followed him as he turned to the corner and then, I knew where we were going.

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><p>COMMENT. REVIEW. THANKS! :)<p>

Read on and make me happy. :))


	2. Chapter 2 : Trip Down Memory Lane

_ "I'll see you tomorrow, Carrie," I said as I waved my hand goodbye. Carrie was one of my close friends. She was a family friend. She asked me to visit her school once and for all. I was free today so I did. Besides, I was curious. _

_ It was so big, nothing compared to my school. I could've gotten lost if it weren't for Carrie. But she toured me around. It was great. _

_ "What a day!" I thought to myself. Mid-terms are in two weeks and a lot of projects are due. It sure is a busy year. Well, that's what you get for being a student. I laughed a soft one._

_ It was raining as I went on my way. I got my umbrella, so I didn't mind walking home. I love walking around. Besides, I've always liked the feeling of walking under the rain, feeling the wind rush through my hair, getting mildly wet from the small drops of rain._

_ It's a good thing my parents chose to live in a village._

_ The street was pretty quiet. Probably because everyone was inside their own houses, curling up near th__e fireplace, drinking hot cocoa or something. I smiled to the thought._

_ As I continued, I saw a guy angrily punching a tree. Poor tree. _

_ His eyes were filled with fury. His face was as red as it could be. His reddish brown hair was down and wet. His back was arched. I've never seen a human being so furious. Most people would probably be scared; I was the least bit of scared. I pitied the guy. I wonder what made him so angry._

_ He shot a glance at me. It was a cold one, the coldest that I've seen. I felt guilty. I didn't mean to pry. I didn't notice that I was staring at him for so long. _

_ He leaned against the tree that he was 'torturing' earlier with his head down. I could see the mark that he made on the tree, it was a big one. He must've punched it really hard._

_ I looked down on him and noticed his hands. They were bleeding. He was terribly hurt. It seemed that he didn't care. The pain inside must have hurt really bad for him not to notice. I felt like crying for him._

_ Before I knew it, I was already walking towards him. It was like my feet dragged me unconsciously. I stared at him for a second and then, I sat down beside him. _

_ He needed a friend. I wanted to be that friend. But what do I say?_

_ "Destruction of property could get you arrested, you know," I said casually as I closed my eyes and listened to the rain. _

_ Not bad._

_ He didn't answer so I continued, "Besides, trees are living things too. They get hurt."_

_ "But I guess it's nothing compared to the bruise it left on your hands." I smiled lightly. He looked at his hands. _

_ Just as I thought, he didn't know that he was hurting until now._

_ "Why do you care?" he asked with a heavy tone. It was like this guy hated the world now._

_ What happened to him? His face was slightly bruised. He had marks on his arms too. I can't imagine what he went through._

_ "Let me have a look at you", I said as I forced him to face me. He refused but I won. I smiled triumphantly. He was already tired. His eyes were closed when I looked at him. I pulled my handkerchief from my pocket and wiped it on his face._

_ "Go home", he said, removing his face from my hand._

_ Huh. Tough guy now, is he?_

_ I stood up and walked away. But I wasn't going home; I was going to look for a first-aid kit at that little store. I remember seeing one on my way here._

_ When I went back, he was still there. I walked back to him and sat down._

_ "Give me your hand", I ordered softly. I grabbed his hands and washed it of its blood. I grabbed the alcohol, "This might sting a little." he screamed but he didn't make a sound like the big boy that he wanted to be. Finally, I wrapped a bandage around the wounds on his hands._

_ I grabbed his face and wiped away the dirt. His expression was tired and sad._

_ I wanted to ask what happened but he needed to rest. And I'm sure the last thing that he wants to do is talk to a stranger about his feelings._

_ After I finished, I leaned against the tree again and closed my eyes. _

_ I noticed a sudden shift of weight beside me. _

_"Thank you", I heard someone whisper. It sounded like an angel-crying._

He was taking to the place where we first met.

I wonder why.


	3. Chapter 3 : Making Conversation

"What?"

"I thought you had a stroke or something," he said. I caught him staring at me.

"Or maybe it's just too much rain. Are you sick?" he reached forward to place his hand on my forehead.

I ducked, "Okay! You know what?" I paused to catch a breath, "this is weird! What's your problem?"

"My problem? What's yours?" he said like we were in a debate or something.

Then, I realized. We stopped.

I sighed in defeat, "Why'd we stop?"

"Because!" he raise his hands.

_Yep. That is a sign of frustration._

"You stopped like the weirdo that you are. When I saw you, you were…" he curled his lips, "staring blankly into nothing. Like I said, you looked like you just had a stroke."

"Are you sure you're okay? Maybe, we should go back," he hopped on his bike.

"No!" I shouted.

_Why'd I shout?_

"I'm fine," he raised his eyebrows in disbelief, "I am! I was just having a memory flashback in my head."

I smiled to reassure him, I think.

"Hmm. So that's how you look like when you think back on the past?"

Then, it happened. He burst into a slightly loud laughter. As in, if there were cars passing by, they'd hear it. With their windows up.

I narrowed my stare, "Not. Funny."

_Honestly, what do I see in this guy?_

"Okay. I'm sorry," he stopped laughing.

_ Wait for it. I'm pretty sure there is still some insult in there._

"But if I were you, I'd stop dwelling on the past. Well, at least not in public. You might scare little kids," he smiled that evil smile of his.

_And there it was._

"Can we stop making fun of my face now?"

_Compose yourself._

_ Breathe in._

_ Breathe out._

"Okay. Okay. I'm sorry," it seemed convincing enough, "but what were you thinking about anyway?"

Now, it was my turn to show my evil smile, "I'd tell you, but you might make fun of me"

I stuck my tongue out. *bleh*

"Aww. That's ain't fair, Lil," maybe, he hasn't noticed it, but we are under the rain. This is hardly romantic at all.

This only proves that movies are exaggerated.

I think I might have sneered a little bit, "I was thinking about the first day we met, or rather… never mind."

"That was what you were thinking?" he didn't seem to believe me.

_Huh._

"Yes, you idiot," I mean it with love.

_Ehem. A little bit of sarcasm in there._

But seriously, I do.

"What about it?" he asked.

"Nothing. It's just. It kinda looks like we're heading there," I made it sound like a question because it is.

I was waiting for his answer when he rode away.

Yup, just rode away.

Without me.

I stepped on my pedal and I decided to follow him and his twisted mind.

I thought I was lost when I saw him.

"You were right," I was right.

He did wanna take me to an old park. _The _old park where this friendship started.

"I knew it. I've had the gift of being right," I half-smiled.

"Didn't change that much, did it?"

_Maybe a little._

"Oh. Except for that little hut in the middle," as if he read my mind.

I nodded, "Your punching bag is still standing strong and tall"

I laughed at myself. I was referring to the old tree he endlessly punched back then.

"Hmm. Strong tree," he commented as he dragged his bike near the cream-painted wooden hut.

I followed him, "It must be after the way you hit it."

"Okay. I get it. It wasn't a pretty memory," he went dropped the bike gently just below the stairs before the entrance of the pretty hut.

It actually looked a bit antique-ish.

"Wait. Remind me again. What are we doing here?" I had no clue at all.

He started to take unpack the things inside the basket.

_Wait._

"Where'd the basket come from?" I don't think I remember him carrying a basket on our way here.

Probably because he wasn't.

"I left it here before I went to your house," he said casually while he took out a blue-checkered cloth.

I honestly don't know how his mind works, "You just left it here? What if some took it?"

"But they didn't," he continued to unpack.

_Ooohhh. Pizza._

"Now, are you just going to stand there and drool or are you going to help me so we could start our little picnic?" he did sound a little bossy.

"I'm not drooling," I know because I checked.

I got down and helped him unfold the cloth and spread it on the floor, "Who has a picnic on rainy days?"

"Us," he answered quickly.

"It was a rhetorical question but I appreciate the effort," I love it when I sound smart. I laughed a bit.

He just rolled his eyes, "Whatever."

I grabbed a slice of the beef 'n mushroom pizza, "This is just awesome, Ken."

"I know I am," and there goes the ego.

A swallowed a little bit, "Why?"

"I don't know. I was born awesome. Genetics," he took out a sandwich.

We are completely on different pages.

"I mean, why are we here? Now?" it couldn't be a coincidence, right?

"Are you cold?" he offered a big blanket.

I reached for it, "Thanks. Where's yours?"

"Yeah. I only brought one," he smiled.

My eyes widened, "Idiot."

I stood up and moved over to his side so we could share, "Scooch."

"No," but he did.

I placed half of my blanket on him.

"Can I ask something?" I said with my mouth full.

"For the last time, I am not an alien." he replied.

I laughed shortly, "I'm serious!"

"So am I. I am without a doubt, a human being," he sounded a little serious.

"Ken," I said the sternest voice I got.

"Okay. What is it?"

I hesitated a bit, "What happened that day?"

It's been a year and he still hasn't told me what the big deal was back then.

_Why was he so distressed?_

Every time I'd ask him, he'd change the topic or just hang up the phone.

He looked like he was deep in thought.

"Well…" he started to say.


	4. Chapter 4 : Meet My Best Friend

So here it is. :)

A big thank you to the people who reviewed :)

And I will try to update daily, okay?

ENJOY :D

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><p>I never did like people. Especially in our school canteen. I felt like dropping dead. I felt so dizzy.<p>

Let's just say that I'm not fond of crowded places. Especially if it's really noisy.

Gash. "Achoo!" I sneezed out loud. I sank, that was embarrassing. It was like everyone heard it.

"Bless you, sweetie," Macy said as she sat down beside me on the table.

I smiled, "Excuse me." I took my hankie out of my pocket and covered my nose

"How come you have a cold? What happened to you?" she asked.

I hesitated for a moment, "I ran under the rain the other day."

She raised an eyebrow, "Hmm. Does Ken have anything to do with it?" she was interrogating me now. I could feel it. I felt like a suspect for a heinous crime. Or maybe I was just guilty.

I smiled, "We had a picnic." I could still remember it like it was two days ago.

Wait, it was.

"Under the rain?" she raised her voice.

I laughed. Now that she said it, it sounded stupid. Picnics are for sunny days, not rainy.

ACHOO!

She rolled her eyes, "You are crazy."

"There was a small hut," I said defensively, "and he brought all my favorite food. He never forgot anything."

She smiled, "you should tell him, you know."

_I want to._

"It'll ruin our friendship. I don't wanna lose him," I looked away.

She reached for my shoulder, "Is this what you really want? I mean, who knows? Maybe he likes you too."

I stared blankly at the table, "That's kinda far-fetched, don't you think?"

I wanted to cry. But there were too many people.

"Why? Did i do something wrong?" i heard a girl cry behind me. It was Elle.

She was talking to Dylan, "look. You and me just... it won't work."

Dylan. Disgusting creature. He thinks he's all-that.

Elle begged, "But it will. Dylan, i'm sorry. Whatever it is... that i did wrong, it... it won't happen again. I pro-promise."

She was crying so hard. Suddenly, i didn't feel so down about my situation.

How could he break up with Elle? She's the kindest person that I've met.

He looked at her straight in the eye, "Elle, its over. I'm sorry."

Elle grabbed Dylan's arm, "No, please. Don't do this."

He removed his arm from Elle's grasp and walked away. He was a monster.

He left Elle, crying her eyes out. She reminded me of... Macy.

I looked slowly at Macy. It looked like she was about to cry too.

"Jerk," i commented to bring her back to reality.

She just smiled, "Yeah. Poor Elle."

I could feel that she was still hurting. It was just two months ago when Dylan broke up with her...

_I was still half-asleep when i went to school. I wanted to fall down and take a nap._

_ I yawned._

_ I tried to keep my eyes open, or at least open enough to see where i was going. _

_ The moment i entered the school gate i saw Macy and Dylan. _

_ They've been together for almost two months now. Macy is so in-love with that guy. But honestly? I just can't see it. I have no idea what girls see in him. He's not even that good-looking. Okay, maybe he is. But i mean, I don't get why they fall for him. _

_ I was walking right to them. I hesitated for a moment 'cause they were talking. I didn't want to interrupt anything. It looked serious._

_ Then, Dylan left. _

_ Macy was crying. _

_ I rushed to her side, "Are you okay?"_

_ She didn't answer. She just kept crying._

_ "Macy? What happened?" i demanded. I wanted to know. I was worried._

_ She sniffed twice, "Nothing. It's just...," she didn't finish._

_ "It's just what?" _

_ She looked at me with her sore eyes, "He-he broke up with me."_

_ It took me a second to react, "Why?"_

_ "He... he told me that... it just... it wasn't meant to be," she continued crying._

_ I can't find the right words, "I'm sorry."_

_ "It's not your fault," she cried._

_ I hugged her tightly. I've never seen her so devastated over a guy._

_ "Sssh. It's his lost," i tried to comfort her._

_She continued crying, "It's not."_

It took her complete 3-weeks to pull herself together.

"Are you alright?" i asked her, just checking.

She faked a smile, "Yeah."

If only I'd believe her that easily.


	5. Chapter 5 : Wish It Was Like The Movies

I couldn't sleep.

Then, this happened :)

READ. READ. REVIEW :)

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><p><strong>KENNETH'S POINT OF VIEW (POV).<strong>

"But i guess that's why i like you so much," it slipped out of my mouth.

Why the heck did i say that?

I looked at her and she didn't seem to take it the way i thought she would.

My heart started to beat so fast. It was so loud that i thought she might actually hear it. I looked at her once more. She seemed to be lost in thought. What was she thinking?

Was she thinking about what i said?

She smiled at me, "Hey, i like you too. We wouldn't be friends if i didn't."

I smiled at her too, releasing a slight sigh.

After that awkward moment i took her home.

"I had a lot of fun today, Ken," she turned around to me in her front yard.

I smiled, "That's what dates are for."

I always try to make it sound casual. But it was true. Whenever we go out, just the two of us, i always treat as a date. A date that i would take her to if you know, we were dating.

But we're not.

I want to date her but i don't think it's such a good idea.

It's because of the whole what-if-she-doesn't-feel-the-same-way-and-it-could-ruin-our-friendship thing.

It happens a lot, not just in movies but also in real life. In movies though, the guy is in love with his girl best friend but doesn't want to tell her because he's afraid she might not feel the same way and their whole friendship will crash. But in the end, the guy finally says what he feels and as it turns out, the girl feels the exact same way about him.

But you see, it's different in real life. There's always that possibility that she's actually in love with someone else (that someone else being not me). And i could just make things worse for us. there'll be this endless awkward moments and she might try to avoid me, thinking that i'm a lunatic stalker who's in love with her rather than her best friend who's willing to take a bullet for her.

But then there's the fact that she might actually feel the same way about me, like in the movies.

Yeah, that's a long shot but still.

I can't help it. What if she actually feels the same way about me? What if, all this time, she actually loves me?

Whatever. *sigh*

"Okay. Well..." she said.

I smiled, "You should get in. you might catch a cold." _and i wouldn't forgive myself if that had happened._

I could see her cheeks coloring. Was it something i said?

"What about you? Why don't come inside and dry up? I could let you borrow my dad's clothes. I'm sure he wouldn't mind," she insisted.

I knew that that was true. Our families are really close.

"Nah. I'll get your carpet wet," i said. I don't know why but my mouth is simply not connected to my brain or for that matter, my heart.

She seemed shocked in a way, i don't know, "Well, what about me? I'll be getting my carpet wet too."

I laughed (one of the reasons why i love this girl: she makes me laugh), "Yeah, but it's your carpet. You totally have the right to get it wet."

"Yes. But we're practically families. So what's mine is yours. It's our carpet and we have the right to get it wet," she insisted.

This really made me laugh. It sorta made sense in a stupid way.

Wait, did she say families? Could that be just it? She treated me like a family. Like an older brother and nothing more.

I ignored my thought, "That's cute but no thanks."

"Cute? It's the truth. Now, come in and dry yourself before I drag you with my bare hands," she tried to sound scary. But she's never scary to me.

I chuckled a bit, "I'd love to see you try."

"Aw, c'mon, Ken," she said pulling my left arm towards her door.

It didn't take much effort to remove my arm from her grasp because, you know, I work out (like if you call running around a work out), "Really. I have to go, Lillie. I'll call you."

I took her by the shoulders, bent my head, and kissed her forehead.

I always do it. I guess, it's because that's as far as it can go.

Man, why am i like this? I've never been this way.

Especially not with girls.

Hmm. I might be losing my man-ness.

But she's so different.

Good different.

She understands me. She actually listens to me, unlike other girls who just flip their hair and bat their eyelashes. She doesn't do any of that.

She looks me straight in the eye like she could see through me.

But then, she probably couldn't since she hasn't figured out the fact that I've been in love with her ever since the day we met.

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><p>So...<p>

How was Ken?

Do let me know what you think :)

Isn't he a sweetie? LOL :)


	6. Chapter 6 : It Hurts To Remember

Still couldn't sleep..

So here, enjoy the product of my insomnia :)

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><p><em>He stands there then walks away,<em>

_My God, if I could only say,_

_I'm holding every breath for you_

_He'd never tell you_

_That he could play guitar_

_I think he can see through_

_Everything but my heart_

_First thought when I wake up_

_Is, my God, he's beautiful_

_So I put on my make-up_

_And pray for a miracle_

_Yes, I could tell you his favorite color's green_

_He loves to argue_

_Oh, when he kills me_

_His sister's beautiful, he has his father's eyes_

_And if you ask me if i love him_

_I'd lie_

My iPod was on speaker.

I was doing my homework, believe it or not. What else should i do?

It's another rainy Saturday, which makes it very hard to get out of bed, not that I'm complaining.

It was just so boring.

But since homework is boring too, might as well be more productive.

Although, for a second, i really thought i was losing it. I mean, i'm not the come-what-may-type of student. I'm not the straight-As-perfect-teacher's-pet-type either.

Let's just say that i'm somewhere in the middle or something.

So i guess this is what middle-type students do on a rainy Saturday-do their homework while having Taylor Swift on the background.

Well, maybe not the Taylor Swift part but whatever.

Maybe, i am losing my mind. Probably because it's been a week and he still hasn't called. Well, not that he needs to, or like it's his responsibility.

But he said, "Really. I have to go, Lillie. I'll call you."

You see? He'll call me. But so far, nothing. No calls, no voice message, no IM, no nothing. It was ever since last week, when we went on a picnic even though it was raining. But i had fun. :)

But who am i to freak out just because he didn't call. I'm not his girlfriend.

I want to be.

But i'm not.

But i am his best friend so that must count for something, right?

Darn. Was it something i said last week?

Was I too intrusive when I asked about what happened when we first met?

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><p><strong>KENNETH'S POV<strong>**.**

"Can I ask something?" she murmured.

It's a good thing I know her very well, or else I wouldn't have understood what she said with her mouth full of food and all that.

Still. She looked cute.

Wait, I'm a dude. I'm not supposed to say things like cute.

I just blurted it out, "For the last time, I am not an alien."

Weird way to response, isn't it?

But she always keeps making a joke about my being humane.

I heard her laugh, "I'm serious!"

"So am I. I am without a doubt, a human being," I said my rehearsed serious voice.

I think I might be getting good at it.

"Ken," she said with a stern voice, I think. It didn't sound very stern but I'm sure that was what she was going for.

"Okay. What is it?" I said as I took another bite of the slice of pizza in my hand.

There was an odd pause for a second, "What happened that day?"

I didn't know what to say after that.

Suddenly, it brought back all the pain that I tried to forget. Every bit of it.

I tried to swallow what was left of the food in my mouth.

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, as if picturing a scene in a movie.

"Well, it was the 25th of June 2010 and I just got my new driver's license," I took another deep breath and tried to remember the good parts of it. "I've been practicing really hard and just mastering the art of driving."

_"Look what I got here," I flashed the small piece of plastic in front of my little sister, Amy._

_ Her eyes widened with excitement, "You finally got your driver's license!"_

_ She gave me a bear hug and I lifted her because she was so tiny._

_ She just turned nine last April. _

_ "Remember how I promised to take you to that new playground downtown as soon as I got my driver's licensed?" _

_ She clapped her little hands, "Of course! Take me now!"_

_ "Alright. Alright. Where's your brother?" his name was Eric. _

_ Now, he's not an angel._

_ But I guess it comes with puberty. I mean, I remember when I was fourteen; I would try to stay out of the house as much as I can._

_ "I don't know. He left a while ago," I wonder if Amy would go through the same stage as well._

_ Probably not. _

_ After all, she is a girl._

_ I sighed, "Oh well. I guess it's just you and me, kid."_

_ "Yey! Let's go!" she exclaimed as she ran towards the door._

_ I grabbed my dad's keys from the kitchen._

_ "So, what do you wanna do next?" finally, she got tired of sliding and having me push her on the swing. "Are you hungry? Or we could do something exciting like go to mall. You know, just us. With no parents"_

_ Hm. Kids._

_ It's easier to be one, right?_

_She laughed, "You just want everyone to see know that you have a driver's license."_

_Yeah. She is right._

"And then after that… every thing just went blur," I thought I could handle this.

I tried to continue, "Uhm. When I opened my eyes, I saw her, my little sister. Half of her face had blood running down on them."

I can't do this.

I don't want to remember it anymore.

"Anyway, to make it short, it turned out that a van hit us. The driver was drunk. I didn't see it coming our way and it hit us… it was directly to the passenger seat. The police said there couldn't have been any way that she would survive that," I tried to hold back the emotions.

"I couldn't forgive myself. I didn't want to remember my little sister like that," and I didn't know how to face my whole family

"And so… I ran away. I just left her. I left her," end of story.


	7. Chapter 7 : Waiting By The Phone

Here you go. :)

This one's a little bit longer than the others.

I hope you don't mind reading it :)

ENJOY :D**  
><strong>

* * *

><p><strong>KENNETH'S POV.<strong>

"And the, I went back to that park. You know, the one where you found me…" I drifted off from the last word. I didn't know what word to end the sentence with.

"Oh, I remember that part," she tried to smile. "You were harassing that poor tree."

I wanted to laugh but I couldn't.

I took a deep breath and let the smell of the rain take away the pain, "I never should've left her. She was my little sister. It's all my fault."

"Hey now, it's not your fault," I appreciate her concern. "You couldn't have avoided the car if you wanted."

_Not true_. "In the first place, I never should've asked her to come."

She tried to make it sound better, "You were being a bog brother. I'm sure she would say the same thing."

_"Thank you," I tried to say to the stranger by my side._

_ I'm such an idiot._

_ Why did I leave her?_

_ I tried to stand up._

_ I held by the tree so that I wouldn't fall._

_ "Hey, sit down first," the girl reasoned out._

_ I could see her face._

_ But I ignored her and walked away, "I have to go back."_

_ When I got to the hospital, I saw my mom and my dad there._

_ "Kenneth!" my mom exclaimed._

_ I couldn't tell if she was happy or sad but it was easy to tell what was written on my dad's face._

_ Daddy's little girl is gone._

_ That was it._

_ I couldn't hold the tears anymore._

_ "Mom, I'm sorry. It was all my fault," I cried as she took me in her arms._

_ "No, it's not, honey. I'm glad that you're safe," then, she let me go._

_ She wasn't happy. She was crying._

_ "Mr. and Mrs. Mayer?" a deep voice interrupted._

_ It was the doctor._

_ "It's both good news and bad," as he looked through the papers attached to his clipbook._

_ There's good news?_

_ "The good news is she's alive."_

_ …_

_ She's alive!_

_ I didn't know what to say. _

_ There was a minute of joy within me and my family._

_ The doctor continued, "The bad news is half of her body has become paralyzed. The car accident has damaged parts of her spinal cord."_

"I blame myself everyday for taking away that freedom of hers," _I wanted to end the story already._

* * *

><p><strong>NATALIE'S POV.<strong>

Now, things have become a little bit clearer.

I kinda feel sorry for what happened. I've never seen him so sad, depressed, or vulnerable.

After he told the whole story, he just acted like none of it happened. He became the Ken that I knew.

_Every time you smile, i smile_

_ And every time you shout, i shout for you_

_ Whoa-oh. I'm need you, baby_

_ Do-don't be afraid to jump then fall_

_ Jump then fall into me_

_ Be there, i'm never gonna leave you_

_ Say that you wanna be with me too_

_ So i must stay through it all_

_ And say, jump then fall_

My ringtone went on.

Yeah. Yeah. I'm a big Taylor fan. Okay, a HUGE Taylor fan. It's just that you know when you're in love or heart-broken, you need a Taylor Swift song to get by.

I grabbed a hold of my phone from my table, it might be him.

"Hello?" I pushed the button before I could even look at the caller ID.

"Hey, Nat. it's me, Dylan."

Dylan? What?

I don't know what to do. Why the heck is this jerk calling me? How did he even get my number?

I didn't realize that a lot of seconds already passed.

"Uhhmmm. Nat, you still there?" he asked.

Even hearing his voice makes me wanna punch him.

I took a deep breath, "Yeah. Sorry. I was just uhhmmm..."

What am i suppose to say?

Ugh. "Why are you calling?"

It slipped out of my mouth. It sounded mean.

I'm usually nice to people, I've been told.

But hey, it was Dylan.

"I'm sorry. Did I interrupt you with something?" he asked. I could feel that he was taken back by my tone.

I took another deep breath, "Uhhh. No. I was just... doing my homework."

Seriously, what'd I do?

I mean, we never talk. Even before he and Macy were together. Certainly, not after they broke up. I mean, he broke up with her.

"Oh. Uhhmmm... How's Macy doing? She's been ignoring me ever since we broke up," he dared to ask.

_She should after the way you broke her heart, you stupid guy! _I wanted to say.

But i promised Mace I'd be nice to him. Ugh.

Yeah, why did I even agree to that?

And besides, we made that deal before the whole break-up. So does that mean that it doesn't apply now?

It should.

I tried to sound casual, "She's been doing good. She's been starting to see other people."

Which is sort of true in some way. She has been seeing other people but not like dating. She's just hanging out. You know, like in parties.

But why the hell does he care?

"That's good," he actually sounded genuine about it.

Hmmm.

He continued, "I'm happy for her."

Whatever.

"Well, I'll tell her you called," I said. I wanted to end the conversation already. It was so awkward.

There was a slight pause on his end, "Okay. Thanks, Nat. and tell her..."

He hesitated a little, "I'm sorry for hurting her. I really didn't mean to."

"I'm sure she knows that," I sounded bored.

Probably because I was. Well, he can make all the amends that he wants. He's never getting Macy back.

Over my dead not-so-perfect body.

"That's... that's good, I guess. Tell her anyway," he said. He kinda sounds sad or something.

Hmmm. Maybe, he is sorry.

Whatever.

_Breathe._

"Sure thing," I said, trying to end the conversation already.

"Okay, then. I guess I should hang up now since it sounds like doing your homework is so much more interesting than talking to me. Bye, Nat." he said bitterly.

I panicked, "Well it's not that, it's just-"

He hung up.

Did i offend him or something?

Well, in my defense, i never, in a million years, expected him to call me. And hello? My's-friend's-ex-bf-calling-me is so weird.

But why the hell should i care if i hurt his BIG ego?

_Hmmm…_

I am not helping him with Macy.

Period.

_Drop everything now_

_ Meet me in the pouring rain_

_ Kiss me on the sidewalk_

_ Take away the pain_

_ Cause I see sparks fly_

_ Whenever you smile_

His ringtone went on.

I guess i kinda forgot he has a different ringtone.

I set a different ringtone because... well, he's special to me. And this song is totally dedicated to him.

I smiled when i looked at the caller ID, just to make sure that I'm not hallucinating or something. It was him.

"Hey," I said, sounding happy. I almost forgot about the whole Dylan thing.

"Hey, I was trying to call you but your line was always busy," he said with a slight laugh.

I wanted to melt.

Instead I said, "Uhhh... yeah, it was..."

Should i tell?

I shouldn't.

I mean, it's nothing.

"It was Dylan," my mouth said. Damn.

He sounded just as surprised as I was when I got a call from Dylan, "Dylan? Macy's ex?"

"Yeah," I said. I didn't know what else to say

"Okay... are you guys like, friends or something?" he asked.

I laughed a bit.

"Not on my end, anyway," I said, still laughing slightly.

"Okay. It's really weird," he started to laugh with me since he knows. I tell him like everything (well, except for the fact that I am totally head over heals for him).

"I know, right? I was really having a hard time trying to figure out why he called out-of-the-blue."

He laughed at my remark, "Hmm. So why did he call?"

I tried to remember because honestly, I forgot.

"I don't really know. He wanted to know how Macy was doing," I remembered.

Did I mention that I have an awfully good memory?

"That's odd. Maybe he wants to get back with her," he thought.

"I don't think so. I told him that Mace was seeing other people and he sounded genuinely happy for her," I reasoned out.

"Which is weirder," he laughed.

Hmmm…

I missed his voice.

"Yeah, then he hung up on me," trying to sound astonished by the fact.

"Really? Why?" he sounded sarcastic.

"Okay. Okay. I was mean to him", emphasis on the mean.

"No! You? Mean?" okay, I get it.

I can be really mean to other people. But I'm usually nice during the first few hours of conversation.

"He was lucky that I didn't hang up on him first," I tried to defend myself. "He did sound a little offended. Hey, it's not my fault he had such a BIG EGO."

He just laughed, "Or maybe he just has a secret crush on you and he was hurt by the way you treated him."

Okay, this isn't right, "You're losing your mind, Ken."

But he just continued laughing.

I don't mind though. I like the sound of his laugh.

* * *

><p>Keep the reviews coming :)<p>

They made my day. I'm glad that you like the story.

Thank you for the people that posted reviews. :)


	8. Chapter 8 : You Got Me

Hey, sorry it took me this long to update.

My sister and I cleaned the house. And if you've been to our house you'll know that it takes more than a day to clean the living room alone.

Anyway, here it is :)

ENJOY!

"What took you so long, huh?" I interrupted his perfect laugh.

_Why is it so hard?_

"Hey, you were the one with the busy line," he tried to point the finger.

"It wasn't busy five minutes ago," I'd stick my tongue out but he wouldn't see it so…

He sighed, "Fine. It's my fault, I'm sorry."

"It is," I smiled. "Apology accepted."

"Wait a minute…" he sounded weird, "Why were you even waiting for me to call?"

I didn't see that coming at all.

"What's wrong with that?" I tried to blur the lines.

He just chuckled, "Oh, yeah. I forgot. You're a girl."

"Is that some kind of insult?"

"No. It's a fact, Lil," his background was a little noisy though.

I smiled to myself, "You made it sound like it's a bad thing."

"That's just you," he sounds busy.

I wonder, "Did you call just to annoy me?

"Aw. Don't be like that," he sounded so perfect.

I want to cry, really.

"Plus, you waited for me to call, so…" he was teasing me again.

Pff.

"I thought we were pass that. I hate you, you know," the more you hate, the more you love, right?

He laughed, "I hate you too. Hey, I gotta go now. I'll call when I can, okay?"

"Sure," then he hung up.

I wish that phone call went a little longer.

Suddenly, I don't feel like doing my assignments anymore.

Did I mention that I play the guitar?

Ken thought me actually.

I picked up the guitar that he gave me last Christmas and started to play.

_You're stuck on me and my laughing eyes_

_I can't pretend, though I try to hide_

_I like you, I like you_

_I think I felt my heart skip a beat_

_I'm standing here and I can hardly breathe_

_You got, yeah, you got me_

_The way you take my hands is just so sweet_

_And that crooked smile of yours,_

_It knocks me off my feet_

_Oh, I just can't get enough_

_How much do I need to fill me up_

_It feels so good it must be love_

_It's everything that I've been dreaming off_

_I give up, I give in_

_I let go, let's begin_

'_Cause no matter what I do_

_Oh, my heart is filled with you_

"Colbie Caillat?" a voice from behind surprised me.

I jumped to my feet ready to slam the intruder with my guitar like a ninja!

"Whoa. Whoa."

_What the hell?_

It was Ken.

My eyes widened, "What? How? You! You scared me, you idiot!"

"I scared you? I was the one you wanted to hit with the guitar!," he breathed, "that I gave you last Christmas. Seriously? You thought of smashing me with the guitar that I got you?"

I sighed, "I'm sorry. You just really frightened me. I thought you were a burglar."

"I'm sorry too. I thought I'd surprise you so I climbed the tree by your window," he smiled.

He climbed a tree to surprise me?

Is that supposed to be romantic or scary?

I placed my weapon (I mean, my guitar) down on my bed, "Oh, you surprised me alright."

"I said I was sorry," he smiled with his left eyebrow raised.

_My favorite smile of his._

I rolled my eyes. I'm beginning to get the hang of pretending that I'm not in love with him.

Maybe not.

"Can you stop smiling for a sec?" _so I can think properly_.

He showed a smug smile, "Why?"

_Oh no._

"Why are you here?" I tried to sound like I have authority over him, which can be true since he is at _my _house.

He took his out his backpack and unzipped it, "I brought DVDs."

I smiled.

I looked at the ones he brought.

I laughed, "Megamind?"

He sat by my bed, "Yeah. My sister loves that."

"You've watched it?"

He chuckled, "It's my sister's favorite movie. What do you think?"

I just rolled my eyes, "Oh. I Am Number Four."

"I know how much you like, ehem, adore Alex Pettyfer," he smiled again that smug smile of his.

What?

He is beyond hot.

I curled my lips in annoyance, "The Back-up Plan?"

"It has Alex O'Loughlin in it," he said as he stood up.

Now, why does that name sound familiar?

I got it, "The guy from Hawaii Five-o?"

"Yup."

Suddenly, I felt tingly inside.

I love Alex.

Eep.

"Sounds pretty good. But you forgot one thing," I smiled.

He walked across the room to hand me something, "Nope."

It was popcorn.

Oh. And by the way AWIE, i don't like the way you give free publicity! :p


	9. Chapter 9 : One Hell Of A Joke

Sorry for the late update.

It was a busy week…

Anyway, here it goes. :)

* * *

><p>"He called you?" Macy asked. She sounded more shocked than I was. I wonder if it was the good or the bad kind.<p>

"Yeah, it was so random and just plain weird," I said, sounding a little bored than usual. It's just that this Dylan-related topic is so uninteresting to me (unlike to Macy). However, I understand. I mean, your ex-boyfriend calling your friend? It's so…

"Well, what did you guys talk about?" she cut my train of thoughts. I gotta say. It's been her hobby. You know, interrupting my thoughts.

Darn. I wish I didn't tell her about it. I knew she'd be like this.

I know I'm going to regret saying this, "Uhmm… nothing. Just you know, he asked how you were doing."

I could see that smile in her eyes. The one she gets whenever she's around Dylan.

"He did? What did he say? Wait. What did you say? Oh my. Why did he check on me?" she went on and on and on and on and on.

Finally, she saw my so-bored face, "I'm sorry, Nat. Okay, continue."

A gave a big sigh, "Well, it's really nothing-"

"Tell me!" she shouted a little. I was beginning to be really annoyed. I knew anything concerning that Dylan is no good.

"Alright. Alright. Man, and to think I actually thought you were over that jerk," I replied. I can't believe I said that in front of her.

` "Jeez, Nat. You don't have to be all-Cruella-de-Ville on me," she said.

Ha. As if I was the annoying one. She should hear herself.

"He said and I quote, 'Uhmm... So, how's Macy doing? She hasn't talked to me ever since we broke up.' And I was like, 'she's doing fine. She's been seeing other people," I let out a very forced smile.

I think it took her about three seconds to digest what I said, "He said that?"

I rolled my eyes, "Really? That's all you got?"

She shot me a look.

What? I was like joking. C'mon, people ought to have some sense of humor, "Yeah. Yeah. Something like that."

I looked at her again.

"And you said I was seeing other people?" she asked.

Really, that's all she got?

"Well, you are. I mean, aren't you?" I asked her. Now that she mentioned it, I'm really not so sure if she, in fact, was seeing other people.

She looked taken back by my remark, "Not really. I've been to parties but that's about it. "

"Well, technically, that is seeing other people," I said.

It is, right?

"Well, yeah. But that's different," she argued.

"It's just the same, Mace," I said.

Ugh. I hate this topic. Why can't she just get over it?

"Nat, you shouldn't have said that. He might get the wrong idea," she continued to be more annoying.

That's it. I snapped, "The wrong idea? And so what if he did? Do you really think he'd want to get back with you? I mean, seriously. Get over him, Macy. He's not worth it. Heck, he's far from worth it."

It looked like she was about to cry but she had to hear it. I know that she's my best friend and all (well, there's also Ken) but she was losing it.

"Well, if that's true why did he call you? I mean. What was his reason for calling you?" she reasoned out like a baby.

I took a breath. I really needed to be patient. I don't wanna make her cry, "I'm sorry, Mace. But I'm sure he's just being himself. You know, going around and hurting people."

Okay. Somehow, I really wanted to laugh at what I said. It's not comforting at all.

"No, Nat. he's not like that. If you really get to know him, you'll see that he's not too bad of a guy. In fact, he's really sweet and caring. I'm sure you'll love him too if you knew him," she said.

Okay, I really wanted to laugh now. And so I did.

.

I felt like rolling on the floor. Literally. But the school ground ain't that clean. It's all grass-y and dirty.

I was so busy laughing I bumped into someone, "Sorry." I was still wiping off my so-funny-my-stomach-hurts tears.

"Nah, it's fine," a familiar voice said.

I turned around and I saw him-Dylan.

"Mace's joke must be really funny. It looked like you weren't even breathing anymore," he smiled.

I smiled back. Although, it was completely fake but I'm sure he bought it, since numerous people did say I am a good actor.

"Actually, it's one hell of a joke," I laughed again to the inside joke between me and Macy.

"Hey, Macy. Good to see you," Dylan said, facing Macy.

I really wish I could be invisible right now. This is so awkward.

"Nice to see you too, Dylan," Macy replied, trying to sound casual. But I could tell that she was nervous-ish.

"So, how are you? Nat said that you were seeing someone?" he made the last sentence sound like a question.

Macy looked at me like I killed her puppy or something, "Uhhh… not real-"

I elbowed her. She's making the BIGGEST mistake of her today-life.

I smiled like he was an old friend, "What she means is that… everything's just very casual. You know, dating guys. Nothing too serious."

"Oh. I see. Well, it's nice that you're having fun," he said to Macy.

This scene, right here, could be in a movie I tell you. It is epic, the awkwardness of it all.

"Yeah, I guess," she forced out the words.

He smiled again at her, "Hey, maybe we could grab a bite and catch up? You know, whenever you're free. Call me, okay?"

WHAT?

I could see Macy's face lit up, like it was the most sunny day ever, "Uhhh… okay."

"Cool," now, he looked at me, "I guess I'll see you around?"

I was still in shock.

"Sure," Macy replied.

He left.

I looked at Macy and she was still smiling like an idiot. Really.

Okay, what just happened.

* * *

><p>How was that?<p>

But WAIT, there's more. :)

GO TO THE NEXT CHAPTER!


	10. Chapter 10 : I Am Officially A LOSER

I am such a loser.

Yes, you heard it. It's Friday night and I'm home.

*sigh*

I'm not just a loser. I'm a freak too.

*sigh*

"At least I got my laptop," I pity myself so much that I actually laughed. AT MYSELF.

Oh well, at least there's Facebook. :)

I go online and I had about 69 notifications. Half of them are from the school group and the other half are just tagged pictures from the other night's party.

…

So I've been online for like five minutes and I'm already bored. How can that be?

Maybe, I should just go out and watch a movie…

With me, myself, and time.

Wait, that's not how it goes, right?

Whatever.

Maybe Yahoo! Will serve me better…

**ikendothis: I didn't think you'd be online  
><strong>

_noyoucanNat: that makes the two of us :)  
><em>

**ikendothis: What happened?  
><strong>

_noyoucanNat: Macy bailed on me :((  
><em>

**ikendothis: Aw. How sad *sobs*  
><strong>

_noyoucanNat: i hate you already. :p  
><em>

**ikendothis: Yeah, right.  
><strong>

_noyoucanNat: meannie!_

**ikendothis: I know you are but what am I?**

_noyoucanNat: :p_

**ikendothis: That's nice. I win. :] Hold the applause.**

_noyoucanNat: did I mention that I hate you?_

**ikendothis: As a matter of fact, you did.**

_noyoucanNat: I'll say it anyway. I HATE YOU. :p_

**ikendothis: Ha. I know.**

_noyoucanNat: I'm glad you do!_

**ikendothis: I should. You remind me everyday. :]**

_noyoucanNat: so you wont forget. :)_

**ikendothis: Hmm. When do we get to the part where you'll tell me why?**

_noyoucanNat: why what?_

**ikendothis: Why did Macy bail?**

_noyoucanNat: oh, that. You wont believe it_…

** ikendothis: Try me.**

_noyoucanNat: she's on a date with…_

_ noyoucanNat: wait for it._

_ noyoucanNat:_

_ noyoucanNat:_

_ noyoucanNat:_

_ noyoucanNat:_

_ noyoucanNat:_

_ noyoucanNat:_

_ noyoucanNat:_

_ noyoucanNat:_

_ noyoucanNat:_

_ noyoucanNat:_

_ noyoucanNat:_

_ noyoucanNat:_

_ noyoucanNat:_

_ noyoucanNat:_

_ noyoucanNat:_

_ noyoucanNat:_

_ noyoucanNat:_

_ noyoucanNat:_

_ noyoucanNat:_

_ noyoucanNat:_

_ noyoucanNat:_

_ noyoucanNat:_

** ikendothis: DYLAN?**

_ noyoucanNat: and we have a winner! *applause*__  
><em>

**ikendothis: And you're okay with that?  
><strong>

_ noyoucanNat: no way!_

_ noyoucanNat: but she's my best friend…  
><em>

**ikendothis: Ah.  
><strong>

_noyoucanNat: you shouldve seen her face. She was so happy  
><em>

**ikendothis: The things we do for our friends, huh?  
><strong>

_noyoucanNat: I'm happy for her. But Dylan better NOT break her heart again, or else.  
><em>

**ikendothis: Or else what?  
><strong>

_noyoucanNat: simple. I'll break him._:)

**ikendothis: Of course.  
>|<strong>

_noyoucanNat: you know me well. :)  
><em>

**ikendothis: Hey, I heard your parents are away. Real or rumor?  
><strong>

_noyoucanNat: real.  
><em>

**ikendothis: So you're all alone?  
><strong>

_noyoucanNat: probably…  
><em>

**ikendothis: Aw. You're lonely, aren't you?  
><strong>

_noyoucanNat: shattap, Ken-tucky! :p  
><em>

**ikendothis: I was asking.  
><strong>

_noyoucanNat: NO  
><em>

**ikendothis: Fine.  
><strong>

_noyoucanNat: fine!  
><em>

**ikendothis: Good.  
><strong>

_noyoucanNat: good!  
><em>

**ikendothis: Why do we do that?  
><strong>

_noyoucanNat: I dont know. You started it!  
><em>

**ikendothis: I did not. You did. :]  
><strong>

_noyoucanNat: I'm hungry.  
><em>

**ikendothis: Oh. No. That's never good when you're alone.  
><strong>

_noyoucanNat: hey, I can cook!  
><em>

**ikendothis: Oh, I know.  
><strong>

_noyoucanNat: thank you. :p  
><em>

**ikendothis: Yeah, you cook so well that the food burns. :]  
><strong>

_noyoucanNat: that rarely happens!_

**ikendothis: Oh, please. It's like saying the sun rarely rises. :]**

_noyoucanNat: you are so mean to me, you know.._

**ikendothis: It's called being HONEST. :]**

_noyoucanNat: I'll just order pizza, then.. :p_

**ikendothis: Don't. I'll come over.**

_noyoucanNat: why? So you can insult me in person?_

**ikendothis: Totally… **

_noyoucanNat: seriously?_

**ikendothis: Just open the door when I call, okay?**

_noyoucanNat: why cant you just climb by the window? _

**ikendothis: Are you kidding me? NO.**

_noyoucanNat: you did that the last time you were here!_

**ikendothis: Yes. And it took me TEN MINUTES!**

_noyoucanNat: and so?_

**Ikendothis: Just open the door when I get there.**

_noyoucanNat: is that an order, sir?_

**ikendothis: YES**

_noyoucanNat: fine. _

***ikendothis is now offline***

_*noyoucanNat is now offline*_


	11. Chapter 11 : Hey, Daydreamer

Thank you for the reviews. HAHA. It's a good thing I check my e-mail. Otherwise, I would have forgotten to update.

I am sorry that it took me this long. You see, college just started here in my country and I am having a slightly difficult time in adjusting. HAHA. :)

Oh, and word of advice: if you're in the Philippines, go to ATENEO! :)) It's the best! HAHA, okay, I maybe a little bit biased. :)

Anyway, here's the chapter for you guys. :D

* * *

><p>It's Friday night and I am home. Alone. With my laptop.<p>

For someone my age, that would mean that I'm a loser.

But I really don't feel like going out or whatever. I've been so tired lately with being a senior and all. I'm still deciding where to go to college. Besides that, I'm studying really hard because I want a good recommendation on my application forms.

Oh yeah, I'm taking up medicine.

"Kenneth?" I small voice peeped out of my bedroom door.

I turned my head from my laptop to take a look at her, "Yes, Amy?"

I smiled at my little sister.

She had her favorite rainbow teddy bear in her arms, "I keep having nightmares."

I sighed. Every time I look at her, I remember that all of it is my fault. She should've hated me, you know. But she doesn't.

I stood from my chair and walked towards her, "You know, you could have used _our _walkie-talkie so that you wouldn't have to strain yourself and walk to my room."

This is why I want to be a doctor. I want to be able to help people, save lives. I need to, at least, pay back for what I've done to my sister.

Even though the doctors told us that there's a slim chance of her being able to walk again, Amy wanted to take that chance. I admire her for that. She's still a little girl and yet, she has more courage than her stupid older brother.

Long story, short. She goes to the hospital everyday to have her treatment. Frankly, she has made a lot of progress. Even the doctors were amazed.

"But I don't like being in bed the whole day. It sucks," she whined.

I laughed and lifted her from her "training wheels", "C'mon. I'll play for you."

She giggled, "Yey."

_Or you could be her soldier_

_Her night and shinning armor_

_I'm sure you wanna make her sure how much you love her_

_And you wish to God that she can see the world in your eyes_

_So she can realize that she's the girl in your mind_

_And you don't mind if you make it out alive_

_Coz you knew right from the start that she's such a boy killer_

_And when tonight she holds you tight_

_You wonder if this fantasy is right_

_Coz when reality comes to play_

_You realize you couldn't make her stay_

_Hey, daydreamer_

After I finished the song, "Ken, why don't you just tell her?"

I smiled, "I'm not sure I follow you."

But I do.

"Natalie," she got up and sat on her bed, "I know you like her very much, even as much as you like me."

I sighed.

I didn't know how to answer that, "Amy, you know I don't like anyone more than you."

She slouched her back and made a face, "Just tell her, Ken."

This is great; I am being scolded about love by my little sister.

I smiled again, "How are you so sure that I like her?"

She tilted her head with an expression that can simply be read as "Duh!"

"I see the way you look at her," she smiled like the little angel that she is, "It's exactly the way Daddy looks at Mommy."

I felt like dying.

She was right, though. I should tell her.

I placed my guitar down, "I don't know…"

"What are you so afraid of?" she asked so innocently.

_Oh, I don't know, maybe the fact that she might not feel the same way and everything will just end up awkward and weird for her._

I couldn't answer her so I just smiled.

Then, "It's not like she doesn't like you back."

Kids.

"But what is she doesn't?" I asked my little sister.

This is even better. I'm asking for advice from my little sister.

She just laughed, "But she does!"

Is she kidding me?

"How can you be so sure, huh?" I wonder if what she's saying is true.

Her eyes widened like she was surprised by my question, "Well, she looks at you the way Mommy looks at Daddy."

It took a moment for me to actually gather my thoughts.

Could my little sister be right?

But my train of thought was interrupted, "Hey."

"Hey," I turned my head towards my little, I mean, younger (he doesn't like it when I call him little because he's really not) brother-Eric.

"Hey, Ams (eyms)," he turned his eyes to the little observant girl on the pink bed.

Amy waved her right hand, "Hi, Eric."

He inserted his hands to the pockets of his dark-blue semi-skinny (as he would put it) jeans and took a charm bracelet out, "I got you this."

Of course, her eyes sparkled at the sight of the golden heart pendant hanging on the charm bracelet.

"Gimme! Gimme!" she exclaimed while bouncing on her bed.

I laughed, "Stay still, Amy. You might break your bed."

Eric walked towards the bed and handed her the bracelet, "There's only one charm, though. But I'll add a charm each time you complete your exercise at the hospital. Oh, and don't bother cheating 'coz I'll ask the doctors."

"Okay. Okay," she immediately replied while extending her hand to Eric so he could put the bracelet on already.

I stood up and got my guitar, "Well, looks like I've been outranked by Eric here so, I'll leave you two kids so you could bond."

I patted Eric on the back and left the room.

I sat down and looked at my laptop.

_She's online._

**ikendothis: I didn't think you'd be online  
><strong>

_noyoucanNat: that makes the two of us :)  
><em>

* * *

><p>There. :)<p>

I'm hoping that I could update some more.

I already know how the whole story will play out. I just need time to write them.

HAHA, thank you for reading! :)

Oh, and if you guys are wondering what the song in there was.

It's HEY DAYDREAMER by Rez Toledo a.k.a. SOMEDAYDREAM :) He's currently on the top my playlists. So, look for him on youTube, twitter, or facebook. :) HAHA.

His songs are beyond catchy. PLUS, he's really cute (but he's so much cuter in person. That's right, i already saw him. He studies in Ateneo :))


	12. Chapter 12 : Ding Dong

BUSY. BUSY. BUSY.

These are the days when you just feel like singing "Friday". HAHA. (the Glee's version anyway).

I feel like I'm already half-way through the story.

SO, READ. :) and then, REVIEW later. :D  
>Thank you.<p>

* * *

><p><em>Ding. Dong.<em>

"I'm not a baby, you know," I announced to the beautiful strange man at the door.

"Can I come in?" he asks, polite as ever.

Of course.

No matter how annoying he can be, you can never say that he's not a gentleman. I don't even know how he can manage to do that.

He. Is. Weird.

But I just forced out a smile (not like I need to. Just hearing his name makes me smile) and made a sarcastic gesture inviting him in.

"I could have just ordered pizza," I whispered but loud enough for him to hear.

He opened the refrigerator and took out the chicken, "Pizza is not healthy."

"Ha. You eat pizza all the time" I pointed at him with my finger.

He just made a face, "I _could _go if you don't want me here."

NO!

"No," I said, trying to act like I didn't just scream in my head. "Stay."

He laughed, "What am I? a dog?"

Yeah, it kinda sounded like I was talking to a dog.

"Bleh," which roughly states that I don't know what else to stay.

He just rolled his eyes and started cutting the chicken into pieces.

"I didn't know you cook," I blurted. Actually, this is my first time to see him cook.

Well, it's not like he's had a chance to cook whenever I'm around. We usually just go out or order.

He looked up at me and smiled, "Now you know."

Right after, he turned the stove on and placed a pan on one stove, a pot on the other.

Great.

So perfect.

He cooks. He sings. He plays sports. He's nice. He's smart. He's cute.

*sigh*

Someone _that_ perfect should not be allowed to live in this world.

And you know what the worst part is?

He's been single ever since I met him.

I haven't really seen him with any girl except his little sister that he so loves.

WHY?

He's got everything a girl wants in a guy.

Come to think of it, we haven't really talked about any of his past girlfriends, if he has anyway (he should have at least one, right?). I mean, any girl would be lucky to have him.

*sigh*

I wonder.

Is there something wrong with him? Or maybe, he likes someone else but the girl doesn't like him. But that would be crazy! Who wouldn't fall in love with the stupid guy in my kitchen cutting chicken?

Or maybe…

NO, he can't be.

I sighed. This topic is making me nauseous. Too. Much. Thinking.

I smelled the aroma occupying the room, "What are you making, Ken?"

"White pasta," he said. He didn't even turn his head around. He was so focused.

I curled my lip, "Do you need any help?"

_Please say no._

I'm a horrible cook. He wasn't kidding when he said that I burn everything I cook. It's like the kitchen is my kryptonite.

I'm just a big disaster-prone area when I'm cooking or at least trying to cook.

He finally faced me and raised his eyebrow, "You'll burn the house down."

I took a deep breath as if I'm ready to answer back and prove him wrong but, "You're probably right."

He smiled again and went back to whatever he's cooking.

He likes smiling a lot.

I like people who smile a lot.

I sighed and just sat down at the kitchen table and watched him do his thing.

"It's getting a little late," I commented out loud unintentionally. I just randomly glanced at the wall clock and saw that it was almost 10pm.

He looked at the clock too, "I'm cooking as fast as I can, Madame."

"It's not that. It's just that you still have to go home. It's not safe," I replied to him.

I was worried.

He looked at me for a second. I could've melted actually, "I'll be fine."

I sighed. He is so good to me.

"Well, you need to go before midnight," I insisted. I know he's a guy and all but still.

He just laughed, "Who am I? Cinderella?"

I rolled my eyes.

I hate his sarcasm.

Well, I really don't. That's one of the many things that I like about him.

I just don't like it when he's being sarcastic when I'm trying to be serious.

"I hate you," was all I could say.

He chuckled softly, "I'm almost done. And yes, I'll leave before midnight."

"Good," I finally managed to paint a smile.

"Or else my car might turn into a pumpkin," he teased.

Of course.

How did I not see that one coming?

I squinted my eyes, "Grr."

It's amazing how this guy can annoy me but at the same time, make me love him more.

"You suck," I added to my unimpressive threat.

I heard him laugh.

He turned around with a plate of food (when you're hungry, you con't really see anything else in a plate but plain food).

"Done," he said with an accomplished tone.

It smelled so good.

* * *

><p>That's all for now.<p>

I'll try to upload some more tomorrow. :)

It's UAAP season (you can google that, it's like our(as in, university wise) version of NBA), so I'll probably be busy screaming my lungs off for KIRK LONG and EMMAN MONFORT(you can google them too).

But I'll try my best to upload at least once a week. :)

OH, and if you have any question about the story, I'll be more than happy to answer them. :D


	13. Chapter 13 : Stupid Me

My apologies, awesome people. It's been awhile. I AM SO SORRY. I have really been busy studying, laughing, spacing out, falling in like ( according to Awie), falling out of like, messing up, getting frustrated, and so. Anyway, first sem's done! YEY!  
>So, this chapter is for you! :) this chapter's a little bit more serious (I guess?). hahaha :)<br>**I LOVE YOU, awesome people**, because you still read this story. HAHAHAHA :)  
>STAY AWESOME! AND KEEP 'EM REVIEWS COMING!<p>

* * *

><p><strong>KEN'S POV<strong>

"Well, madame, are you done now?" I asked with a chuckle.

I am so glad she liked the food that I prepared. It was my first time to cook actually. I was so nervous that it was gonna turn into a disaster and she'd laugh at me. But I guess the odds are with me tonight. She didn't even notice the way I constantly checked my phone for the recipe that I got from the internet before I left for her house.

The thought made me laugh.

"Ha. Ha," was all that I heard from her.

Her eyes were already closed.

"How come you're always sleepy after you eat?" I asked. It was like she was a little girl trapped inside a teenager's body.

Without opening her eyes she moved her lips, "This is me. This is how I was made, okay? Deal with it!"

I laughed, "Why so defensive, Lily? It was mere curiosity."

"Oh, please. Don't give me those fancy sentences. _It was mere curiosity-_schmitt," still with her eyes closed.

I laughed some more, "I'm sorry. _This is me. This is how I was made, okay? Deal with it"_ I tired to mimic her as closely as possible.

Now she opened her eyes but only to glare at me. Her eyes widened some more as I laughed continuously.

_Wow. She really does have the prettiest eyes_.

It was brown. No, Chocolate brown. Almost golden. Like her heart.

The light from the lamp beside the couch touched her face. And it seemed like she was perfect. Everything about her was perfect.

She looked so angelic. No, she was more that that.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" she said uncomfortably, interrupting my thoughts (as she always does).

I must've been staring too long.

_ Dammit._

I just smiled, "You got a little something on your face."

I pretended to wipe something off her cheek.

_That was close.  
><em> She pouted, like the kid that she is, "I'm sleepy."

"I should go, then," as I got ready to stand up and head for the door when a hand pulled me back down.

"No, stay," she whispered.

I turned to her and I felt like I wanted to tell her. Tell her that I loved her. Maybe, Amy was right. Maybe she did like me too. Or maybe even loved me the way I loved her.

_This is it. What else am I waiting for?_

I should tell her now. At least, I need her to know.

_What if Amy was wrong?_

Screw that. I should just tell her.

I mean, it's not like things are going to change, right? What have I got to lose?

_How about one of the few best things that ever happened to me?_

I took a deep breath.

"Eric and Amy are waiting for me, Lily," it sounded like I was trying to prove a point or something.

I could kill myself now. I hate my gut (or rather the lack of it)

She opened her eyes again, like she was about to cry, "I'm scared."

I didn't know what else to do but hug her and so I did. I held her so tight like she was mine, like I wouldn't want to let go of her.

_I don't want to let go.  
><em>And for a moment, it felt like I could stay like this forever, holding her.

Maybe I'll tell her some other time. Like in my death bed or on her wedding with another guy.

I sighed in frustration.

"You're a big girl, Lily. I'm sure the monsters under your bed are just as scared of you as you are of them."

_What in the world?_

Here is the girl I've loved secretly for a year, scared. And I made a joke about it.

_Real smooth, Kenneth_

I am such a coward.

She pulled away from my arms and frowned, "I'm serious."

"I'm sorry," I pulled her back again. It felt so wrong when she pulled away.

She smelled like vanilla and honey.

I wrapped my arms around her, as I always would when she was sad.

"What makes you so scared?" I asked. I wanted to understand her.

I heard her let out a deep breath. She really must be scared.

"It's just that I heard Mom and Dad fighting before they left," and right there and then, she started to cry. "It's not like anything before. I heard Mom crying and shouting and…"

I waited for her to continue. I just held her tight because I don't think there's anything that I can do but just that.

"I think they're thinking of separating," her cry started to get heavier.

I sighed.

I haven't seen her like this before.

"Hey, it's gonna be fine, okay? Parents fight all the time," I whispered in her ear, hoping this would make her okay or at least, feel better. "And sometimes, you just have to cut them some slack. Sometimes, they just have to let out the feelings that they've been holding back."

She wiped away her tears and pulled away from my arms, "You should go. It's getting late. I'm sure Amy's waiting for you."

_But I don't want to leave you._

* * *

><p>try to guess what's gonna happen next coz i aint got no clue. HAHAHA :))<br>BTW,** MERRY CHRISTMAS, LOVELY READERS!**

i hope you had a meaningful holiday! :)

ANYWAY, guess gotta go right them next chapters. LOL :)  
>keep your reviews coming. they inspire me to be quite honest. :)<br>take care! :)


	14. Chapter 14 : The Abomination Beside Me

it's been a long time since I've updated.  
><strong>PLEASE ACCEPT MY APOLOGIES.<strong>  
>I've been short on inspiration lately. Anyway, <strong>CHEERS TO THE LAST MONTH OF SUMMER! :)<strong>

Do not let summer get by without hitting the beach! Which reminds, I really ought to go to the beach. I am just depressed in the city. Nothing to do!

Well, anyway, enough about my nonsense problems. Shall we get on?

This is a bit straight to the point. hihi. **ENJOY, AWESOME READERS :)**

* * *

><p><em>It smells familiar<em>

I yawned to my thought.

I wanted to open my eyes but it couldn't. I just felt so tired.

_What'd I do last night?  
><em>I took deep breaths and felt a little bit heavy than usual. I felt like a Japanese rice hugged by a seaweed wrap.

I tried to get up but I couldn't

"Ugh," I sighed heavily.

I felt a movement beside me.

I turned around in shock.

I let out a breath.

_It's only Ken._

_ Wait. What?_

I took another look and the image still didn't change.

Ken was sleeping. Beside me.

I tried to recall everything that had happened last night.

_"You should go. It's getting late. I'm sure Amy's waiting for you." I sighed. Not so much from frustration but the exhaustion of crying._

_ Why was I crying anyway? I should listen to Ken._

_ Kenneth's right. It's nothing._

_ Ken's always right._

_ Well, not really. But right now, it's best for me to believe that._

_ They were just clearing the air. Letting some steam off that has been there for a while. I mean, that's what people do, right? Like just because they had a little shouting session, it doesn't mean that they're just gonna separate and leave their only daughter confused and devastated. They should know better, right? They love me too much to let their misunderstandings get the best of them, right? _

_ RIGHT._

_ Am I?_

_ Yes. Most definitely._

_ *sniff*_

_ I'm usually good at convincing myself. I guess I wasn't as good as I thought._

_ "Hey, don't even think about it, okay? I'm sure they've made up by now," I looked up and saw a familiar smile. For a second there, I thought I was just alone. _

_ I wiped the tears and forced a smile just so that he won't worry so much. And besides, I could always just cry myself to sleep after he's gone, "Go home, Ken."_

_ He acted as if he was offended by what I just said, "You can't just shoo me away. I'm like your BFF, right?" I laughed with him. "And besides, that's mean. So just stop, okay?"_

_ Even through the saddest times, he still manages to get a laugh out of me._

_ "But this is me being nice! Well, to your sister and brother anyway," I defended myself like I needed to. Even though I really don't._

_ I yawned some more._

_ I didn't wanna think anymore. I didn't wanna feel anymore._

_ Not today._

_ I've ran out of energy to think, to feel, and to hurt._

_ I heard him laugh, "Well, you did always have your own way of being nice, not to mention a very twisted definition of the word nice,"_

_ "Look who's being mean now," I smiled under my tears. I'm tired of crying._

_ "Huh, you started it," sounding so animatedly defensive as ever._

_ I really just wanted to close my eyes._

_ *yawn*_

_ "Shut up, Ken. You're too noisy," I put my arms around his neck and let the fuzzy feeling of being next to him take the pain away._

_ Just a faint laugh and a whisper reached my sleepy self, "Meannie."_

_ "I love you, Ken," I whispered back as I laid my head on his warm chest._

_I heard him mumble something but I was too tired from all the crying that I just couldn't bear to be conscious long enough to know what he said._

*yawn*

WAIT.

What?  
><em>"I love you, Ken," I whispered back as I laid my head on his warm chest.<em>

NO WAY.

I tried to mentally kick myself in the head.

NO.

WHY DID I SAY THAT?

_Shut up, Natalie. It's not like he heard it._

RIGHT.

I mean, it was a very low whisper. Not audible to human ears. A mouse might heard it. Not a human.

Especially not Ken.

*sigh*

_BREATHE._

Why am I even worried?

I mean, I could always say that I love him as a friend, right?

I mean, friends say 'I love you' all the time, right? Especially best friends, right?

RIGHT?

RIGHHTTTTTT?

I AM RIGHT, RRRIIIGGGGGHHHHTTTTT?  
>I AM ALWAYS RIGHT!<br>"Hm. Good morning, Lily," I looked up and saw the monster that's making my tummy feel butterflies and getting my mind confused so early in the morning.

* * *

><p>So, what do you think? Did Ken hear it?<br>AIYEEE. HIHIHI :)  
>LOL. <strong>please don't go. not until you've reviewed<strong>. PROMISE? :)  
>your reviews give me inspiration. hihi. :") so please do review. :)<br>ANYWAY, HAPPY SUMMER, EVERYONE! :)  
>i'll be updating again. hopefully soon. :)<br>CHAO! :*


	15. Chapter 15 : The Most Important Meal

Here you go. One more chapter.

**COZ I LOVE YOU GUYS!**

Enjoy and do tell me what you think. _I'm sure something beautiful is in that head of yours._ :)

OH, and** HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY EVERYONE!** Treat your mom extra special today!

* * *

><p><strong>KEN'S POV<br>****  
><strong>

"Good morning, sleeping beauty!" the little angel beside me said.

_Hmm._

Guess I slept the night at Lily's.

I smiled back, "Shut up, cry baby."

"Oh, the odd ways you show your love for me."

_"I love you, Ken," I heard her whisper and for a minute I was sure my heart skipped a beat._

_ Did she really say that? _

_ I smiled. I shouldn't get ahead of myself, "I love you too, Lilypad. Sweet dreams."_

"Hey, are you okay?" I snapped back to my senses.

I looked down and smiled to hide my confusion, "Why do you ask?"  
>"You looked like you were having a stroke," she burst laughing.<p>

I have to admit.  
>This time, I was a little offended but I laughed anyway.<p>

"How do you even know what having a stroke looks like?" I arched my left eyebrow.

She just rolled her eyes, "Fine. Take two! You looked like Chuck Bartowski while having his _flash_."

"But he looks like trying to stop his urge of falling asleep after eating something sour or spoiled when he _flashes_!" I whined.

Well, he does.

She just laughed, "Exactly!"

"Get off of me, you meanie!" I said as I pushed her up.

"Oww. Careful, you monster!" she said in between her laughs.

I started to tickle her ribs, "Stop whining so much!"

Her voice bounced off the walls while she laughed like she's never laughed before, like she just discovered the joy of laughing and didn't want to stop.

"STOP IT! You know I'm ticklish!"

I chuckled, "You do have the most peculiar laugh I've ever heard in my entire time of existence."

She just shrugged, "Whatever, Shakespeare. You sound like you're from another era."

_GRRRRR._

"I'm hungry."

"You're always hungry. I could hear your stomach grumbling," I laughed.

"Whatever," she rolled her chocolate brown eyes once again.

I sighed.

_"I love you, Ken," I heard her whisper and for a minute I was sure my heart skipped a beat._

No, I will not let that get to me.

"So…" she smiled one of those smiles that's so wide it reaches from ear to ear.

I tilted my head, "What do you want?"

She acted shock even though she knows exactly what I'm talking about, "I was just gonna ask if you'll cook again." Her smile grew wider.

_Crap._

I don't know how to cook anything else besides the one I cooked last night.

_Think. _

_ Think._

_ Think._

Wait, it's just breakfast.

_Thank, God!_

"How about some French toast with eggs and bacon?"

Right. Coz I just need to fry those things.  
>Piece of cake.<p>

But to my surprise, she sighed, "But that's so normal. I want something else."

_Crap._

"You are so demanding," I stalled as I tried to think some more.

I heard her sigh playfully, "I guess bread and bacon won't hurt."

"What do you want?"

She looked at me and melted whatever's left of my heart again, "What if we just eat outside? I'm in the mood for Chinese."

I laughed, "Sounds great. I wasn't feeling like cooking anyway."

And with that, she disappeared from my arms and went upstairs.

_"I love you, Ken," I heard her whisper and for a minute I was sure my heart skipped a beat._

Why does that keep entering my mind?

I don't want to think about. I'll probably just over-think things and convince myself that she's in love with me or something like that.

Which can't be true.

Because she is NOT in love with me.

But how can I even say that? I don't even know if she is.

But she isn't.

She just said that because…

Well, why did she say that?

No, friends say 'I love you' all the time, especially best friends.

But could that be all that we can be?

_SHUT UP, KEN._

I'm over-thinking again.

_Why don't you just ask her?_

No, I won't.

I should really stop arguing with myself. This is not healthy.

"Oh, hello there, Kenneth," I heard a female voice from my left.

I turned around to see Lily's parents and a girl that I've never seen before.

I got up on my feet and smiled, "Good morning, Anne! Jack! And…?"

The brunette girl looked up, "Oh. Samantha. But please call me Sam."

I smiled to the girl who seemed a little bit older than me, "Nice to meet you, Sam." I turned back to Anne and Jack, "We were just on our way out for some Chinese for breakfast. Do you wanna come?"

Maybe it's just me but they all look like they need some sleep and some stress-relieving.

"Actually, if we could have Natalie for ourselves that'd be nice," Jack smiled.

It seems as if they really are having a problem.

_Hmm._

But it's not my business.

Yet.

Not until Lily makes it.

I smiled to myself, "Of course."

Just then, "Okay. I brought down some shirts from my dad's closet for you to change in. I'm sure he wouldn't mind at all."

I turned around and saw that Lily has changed from her house clothes to shorts and a shirt. Even with her mess of a hair, she still looked divine.

"Hello, princess. I just asked Kenneth if he could spare you today so you could eat breakfast with us. We've been meaning to talk to you," her dad said from across the room.

Is it strange that her mom has been very silent?

_Not your business._

Right

Lily looked at me as if asking I approve of it.

I just laughed it off, "Sure. I think I needed to mend my broken bones anyway. You were so heavy."

"Mean as ever. Get out of my house, you ungrateful sap," she pointed her finger to the other with a narrow look on her eyes.

I walked towards her and pulled her to me, "Call me a.s.a.p."

"Sure thing. Thanks for last night. For everything," as she buried her face on my shirt.

I chuckled and squeezed her one more time then I let her go and headed for the door.

I'm sure she'll tell me everything later.

I just hope it won't be as bad as she thinks.

* * *

><p><strong>REVIEW! REVIEW!<strong>

SEE? as i promised. i updated! YEY! :)  
>I'm split into half on <strong>how i want to end this story.<strong>  
>i already had it planned but i think <strong>i might change it<strong> because i'm thinking of you, guys! :)  
>well, <strong>do tell me your opinions and such<strong>. they are very much welcome!

ANYWAY, my family and i are still not yet done with our Mother's Day Celebration so i must bid you farewell! :)  
>i will update soon! maybe even sooner than you think! :O<p>

**take care :***


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